After a couple days of near constant bickering and bad attitudes between myself and Jonathan, I snapped. I was exhausted from his argumentative stance on everything from school lessons to chores to games to meals. I snapped and made a threat. It’s not the first time I’ve made this threat but a while back I had sworn to myself never to make this threat again… and I failed… again. In a raised, angry, exasperated voice I said “I’m done! You can go to public school for all I care! Clearly, you don’t want to learn from me!”

I stomped off, went to my desk and slumped in my chair. Immediately, Mac Powell’s song, Everlasting Arms popped into my head. I hadn’t heard the song in a while so I found myself wondering why it took over my thoughts during such angry moment. My mind slowly went through the lyrics over and over…

I’m leaning on Your everlasting arms
So close to You that I can hear Your heart
Nothin’ else can separate me from Your love
I’m leaning on Your everlasting arms

In the morning, I am met with Your mercy
In the evening, I am wrapped in Your love
There’s no end to Your reach, there’s no place I’d rather be
I’m leaning on Your everlasting arms

I’m resting in Your never-ending peace
Patiently, I wait to hear You speak
Nothing else can keep me safe from every storm
Nothing but Your everlasting arms

What a fellowship, what a joy divine
Leaning on The everlasting arms
What a blessedness, what a peace is mine
Leaning on The everlasting arms

In the morning, I am met with Your mercy.
Lamentations 3:22 The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end. Psalm 116:5 Gracious is the Lord, and righteous; our God is merciful. I did not meet my son with mercy… or patience… or kindness. I was not gracious nor did I make an attempt to understand.

There’s no end to Your reach, there’s no place I’d rather be.
Isa 49:6 He says, “It is too small a thing that You should be My Servant To raise up the tribes of Jacob and to restore the preserved ones of Israel; I will also make You a light of the nations So that My salvation may reach to the end of the earth.” The Lord’s reach is to the ends of the earth! Just like me, my son is a sinner and our Savior died for his sins. If the Lord can forgive my wretched soul, I can forgive my son and make sure I’m continually ‘reaching’ for him.

Nothing else can keep me safe from every storm, Nothing but Your everlasting arms
Deut 33:27 “The eternal God is a dwelling place, And underneath are the everlasting arms; And He drove out the enemy from before you, And said, ‘Destroy!’ Nothing can save my son from his sins except Jesus and His everlasting arms. It’s my job as his mom to consistently point him to Christ.

What a fellowship, what a joy divine!
Psalm 5:11 But let all who take refuge in You be glad, Let them ever sing for joy; And may You shelter them, That those who love Your name may exult in You. What a joy it is to be a follower of Christ. What a joy it is to be a wife and mother.

What a blessedness, what a peace is mine
Psalm 29:11 The Lord will give strength to His people; The Lord will bless His people with peace. Just as in Phil 4:7, only the peace of God can guard my heart, soul and mind. I must show my children the amazing peace that can come from giving your life to Christ.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that my job as Jonathan’s mom is to continually show him Christ. In my own behavior, attitude and words. Show him all that Jesus has done for us. Yes, I apologized, as I have many times in the past and I would imagine I will be apologizing again in the future. This is not to say that my anger and frustration wasn’t understandable. On the contrary, it’s very understandable. But God deals with me so patiently in MY sin. He shows me new mercies EVERY SINGLE DAY. He forgives me when I approach his throne with sincere repentance and sorrow. He lifts me up in His everlasting arms and reminds me He is ALWAYS there. Will I lose my temper again with my son, quite possibly. But my prayer is that God reminds me of HIS amazing love which prompts me to show amazing love to my son.