Awhile back I blogged about a wonderful evening with a young couple who are in a courtship and are actually engaged to be married in May.  Shortly after that post I was asked if courtship is the same as arranged marriage.  I actually laughed out loud at that question!   This post is to clarify courtship and this young couples story.

First, my definition of courtship is NOT arranged marriage.  I suppose someone is society somewhere might consider the 2 the same but I do not.  Basically, I see courtship as a dating process with the end in mind.  Meaning when someone is ready for marriage (spiritually, financially, emotionally, etc.) then they seek to find someone who could be a potential spouse.  Courtship can look differently to different couples.

Honestly, the rules or boundaries of the relationship that the couple puts in place is not as important as their hearts.  The couple I mentioned in the earlier post have set the boundaries for their relationship until they are married.  They set those boundaries together as a way to honor and respect each other.  They spent a lot of time building their relationship and getting to know one another in a very deep and meaningful way without getting physical.  I realize this is completely contrary to what our society thinks is normal.

How is this different than traditional dating?  Well, typically, individuals don’t enter into a courtship without the end in mind; without marriage in mind.  I can tell you that before I became a Christian I am 100% sure that the guys that I dated DID NOT have the end in mind and marriage was not on their radar… nor was it on mine.  In our society marriage comes much later, if at all.  As a Christian, I value marriage immensely.  It isn’t just a piece of paper or a legal document.  Courtship is not perfect and hearts can get broken but I would venture to say that there is much more heartache in traditional dating then in courtship.

Below is an brief explanation of this couple’s love story in their own words.  I find it refreshing and encouraging that there are young people willing to pursue God’s desire for their life rather then their own.

Our story is a fairytale of God’s goodness, faithfulness, and love in our lives! The way in which Steve and I ended up together, engaged, and about to embark on happily ever after is not possible of ourselves – we serve a wonderful God!
Steve and I first met in 1996 when my family started attending Warner Avenue Baptist Church (WABC) in Huntington Beach, California. I was 4 years old, and Steve was 12 – he likes to joke that he first saw me in diapers while he was shopping in the nursery. 🙂 In actuality, we just continued on with our lives as normal, didn’t really interact at all due to the age gap between us. It wasn’t till 7 years later that we would become friends and start spending more time together.
In 2003(?) Steve’s father passed away from cancer. Their family had not been attending church for about a year prior to his death due to the cancer treatment scheduling and doctor’s visits. About a year later WABC organized a church group to help the Steve family get some house projects and clean-up done while their mom took a much-needed vacation. My mother became head organizer of this group effort, and subsequently our family started spending much more time with Steve and especially his family. It was during this time and afterwards that I became best friends with his younger sister, Sarah, and our families really started connecting. Steve’s sisters were always telling me how awesome of a guy he was, how he would make a great husband someday, but I was always like, why are you telling me this? That’s nice for someone, but not me! He was like a big brother to me – I thought he was awesome and really liked him as a person but couldn’t see us ever getting together. Apparently he felt similarly: we had a wonderful friendship but he didn’t ever see it going anywhere.
Fast forward to the year 2007 when my family relocated to Colorado. After we moved, Steve and I had literally no communication at all. Our family visited CA a couple of times, but I only spoke with him briefly those times and never thought of him as a possible romantic interest. Steve in the meantime had been pursuing a few other relationships and didn’t think he would ever date me. God had other plans, however.
In May of 2014 I graduated with my Bachelor’s of Arts degree in Piano Performance from Colorado Christian University. Right around the same time GoFormz, the computer company Steve had co-founded several years earlier, really started booming in the industry. All the years I thought that there was nothing happening between us, he had been secretly admiring and hoping for a chance to pursue a relationship with me. Everything lined up perfectly that summer, and Steve called my dad in early July to ask for his permission to date me. Our first conversation as a couple was on July 5th, and he came to visit me a few weeks later. The first few weeks were wonderful though somewhat difficult as we navigated the beginnings of a long-distance relationship, and we fell in love after just about a month. There was still plenty to work through and learn about each other, but as time progressed the security we felt with each other as our possible mate for life grew by leaps and bounds.
After a couple months into the relationship, I told Steve that if he ever asked me to marry him I would say yes. He had already felt quite confident that I was the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, and we knew without a doubt where our relationship was heading. In October on one of his visits out here to CO, we went ring shopping together and found the perfect forever-ring. The following month, on November 27th, he proposed to me at sunset on the cliffs overlooking the ocean in Palos Verdes, California. Of course I said “YES”!!!!
Throughout our whole journey, God has been clearly present and guiding us in our deepening attraction to each other with Him at the center. Both of us sought to keep pursuing Christ first as the glue to our relationship. Our goals and vision for marriage, family, and ministry lined up perfectly – and we even put the toilet paper roll on the same way! 🙂 We feel confident that the Lord brought us together for a purpose and are excited to see what the future holds!

In our homeschool we take many breaks throughout the year which is why we school through much of the summer.  However, this is the first year we have actually taken a scheduled spring break and we are having fun this week!  Enjoy some pictures from our visit to the Denver Zoo and the Denver Museum of Nature and Science.  My mom took care of Katherine so we could stay a bit longer.  It’s been fun!  Stay tuned for Wednesday’s adventure!

Check out the giraffe!

This hippo was playing peek-a-boo in the water then suddenly got up on the rock on posed!

Jonathan’s favorite place at the museum – Space Odyssey.

A picture with a camel from the Silk Road exhibit.

Posing with a mythical creature exhibit.

Riding on the carousel at the zoo.

Waiting for a train that would never come. The train did not get fixed that day!

A BIG kitty!

Yep, it’s true.  Our sweet baby turned 1 year old today; actually at 5:09 this morning.  She was my shortest labor; certainly not painless but the shortest!  She has made up for the short labor by not allowing me to get as much sleep as I did with the previous 4 children.

Katherine Anya is a very happy and playful baby and a wee bit chubby.  She wears 24 month old clothes!  But I’m sure just like the others she will slim down in the next couple of years once she gets to walking.

Follows are way too many pictures but I couldn’t resist.  Stay tuned for birthday party pictures coming next week.

I wonder if this will be the last first birthday celebration we will have???

I tend to make a big deal of Valentine’s Day but I like to change it to God is Love Day! I have several verses that I have printed out and laminated and I hang them up during the month of February.

This year, as I was searching for something special to make for everyone I came across a project that I desperately wanted to make for each person in my family. However, it was a sewing project and I can’t even sew on a button straight! I really wanted to make this project and I couldn’t figure out a way to make it without sewing. After chatting with Phil about it we decided to buy a very inexpensive sewing machine. I watched the short video that came with the machine and then I set to work.

Can you believe I did it? AND, I enjoyed every minute of it!!! Have I discovered a hidden talent? Well, I don’t know about that! If you look closely at what I made you can see many mistakes but it was fun nonetheless. I made chair back envelopes! I think they turned out really cute!  At night Phil or I would put a love note and a treat in their envelope for them to discover in the morning.  It was so much fun!

My mom made her world famous fried chicken to go along with our rosemary potatoes and salad. Then Belle and I made bright pink rice krispy treats to top off the evening.

Our wall of bible verses about love.

I wonder what I will come up with next year???

Gaylene

Our oldest daughter is about to turn 12 years old.  She is such a blessing to our family and everyday I thank the Lord that He choose me to be her mommy.

Turning 12 means she’s not far from those ‘dreaded’ teenage years.  I say dreaded because from the world all we really hear about teenagers is all the negative stuff.  The attitude problems, the feeling of superiority, the laziness, the grumpiness, the selfishness.  I could go on and on.  If you are a parent, you’ve heard the familiar questions and/or statements….

“Oh, just wait until she’s a teenager, then you won’t be all smiles.”
“She’s cute and being a parent if fun now but in 10 years it won’t be as fun.”

Since we have 5 children we have heard people calculate how many teenagers we will have at home at any given moment and then they snicker at ‘what fun’ that will be.  Or we get asked “what are you going to do when she wants her own room?”

I wonder if parents contribute or unknowingly encourage selfishness from teenagers?  It seems we’ve accepted that the teenage years are tough so we must excuse their behavior and give in to them since they are having such a hard time dealing with their every changing emotions.  It’s like they stop being a parent until their children are past the teenage years and they hope for the best.

How about we keep the communication lines open.  We acknowledge the changes they are experiencing, we embrace the changes and our children.  As parents, we’ve been through these changes and we know and understand what they are feeling.  I want to help my children navigate these changes and look at them as an exciting time in their lives that the Lord is using to transform them into adults.

We have been blessed to see teenagers that are part of families who have effectively gone through (or are still in the midst) the teenage years.  They have raised these young adults to process the changes to their bodies and emotions with the Lord’s will in mind.  They do not spend hours alone in their room playing video games or watching terrible TV.  They spend a lot of time together with their family and they enjoy it!  Gasp!  A teenager enjoying spending time with their family?? Yes, it is possible.  They’ve been taught God’s design for family and how we were made for relationship.  They were taught to build up their siblings and to invest in each others lives.   No, they are not perfect but their parents don’t expect them to be.  As an adult I still struggle with attitude problems but I look to scripture to adjust my attitude and emotions.

We know many that have never had their own room… and they have survived!  Why the push for their own room?  From someone who had their own room growing up (for most of the time) I say it is highly overrated.  Anyway, for our almost 12 year old she knows that it’s ok to want to spend time alone and when she wants that time we’ve taught her sisters and brother to respect her desire for alone time.  It might be slightly more challenging to find some ‘space’ when you share a room but it isn’t impossible; we just get creative.

As a parent, I don’t want to succumb to the teenager years; I want to embrace them!  We are around families that have enjoyed the teenage years.  Yes, there were struggles but it doesn’t have to be as bad as the world expects.

Phil and I pray daily for our children.  Not that they will be perfect little robots but that the Lord will graciously shape them into the beautiful adults He longs for them to be.  We pray that He gives us wisdom and grace on navigating these exciting years.  What a blessing it is to be a parent.

Gaylene

I’m married to a man with a foreign missions heart; specifically Russia.  I believe his passion for the people of Russia is from God and I want to actively support him in fulfilling his passion.   Recently, our family has been given an opportunity to do mission work in St. Petersburg and Vyborg, Russia.  We have partnered with a wonderful organization called Paideia Missions.  The Davidsons recently published this short video of why they started this ministry.  Their goal is to “take an innovative, hands-on, and family-integrated approach to equipping parents worldwide for the purpose of discipling their children through Christian home education.”

Russia is one of Phil’s many passions and homeschooling is mine.  I have seen the fruit of homeschooling through many friends and families and in my own family.  I believe it gives the parents opportunity to build Godly character into their children and develop a deeper relationship that is much harder to foster when your children are away from home 6-8 hours a day, 5 days a week for 9 months of the year.  As for academics, I believe I can teach my children just as well, if not better, then a public school teacher.  I can give my children many hours of one-on-one time and curriculum tailored to their learning style.

I could write several posts on why I’m passionate about homeschooling but for now let’s stick to the mission trip!  We will be helping to run a 2 day homeschooling and family discipleship conference and following up with families as needed or requested.

Below is the support letter we recently sent out.  We have raised just over a 1/3 of what we need in order to serve the families in Russia.  Due to time constraints and logistics it looks like just Phil, Natasha and Mikayla will be going this spring.  We pray that all of our family would be able to go next spring to help with this conference.  Would you consider giving to our mission trip?

Hello from the Wilson family in Lakewood, Colorado!

 My family and I have some very exciting news to share and an important question to ask you.

 Many of you know that Gaylene and I have a passion for homeschooling, family discipleship, and ministering to both believers and non-believers in Russia. Ever since I returned from the Siberian mission field in 1998, God has continued to shape this vision of encouraging the Russian people, specifically through family discipleship and home education.

 For the past six years, Gaylene and I have been homeschooling our children. Many of my family’s greatest blessings are directly related to major changes in our lives that came about through homeschooling. We now have a strong desire for Russian Christian families to enjoy these same blessings, which brings me to share our exciting news.

 In May 2015, Gaylene and I, along with our two oldest children, have the opportunity to partner with Paideia Missions to serve, encourage, and teach at a home education and family discipleship conference in Saint Petersburg, Russia. Our plan is to travel to Russia a week before the start of the three-day conference to help with final preparations and then stay a week after the conference to encourage the many new homeschooling families in the Saint Petersburg area.

 The goal of this conference and Paideia Missions is to fulfill the Great Commission by promoting Christian home education and family discipleship. To learn more about Paideia Missions, please view Scott and Andie Davidson’s very informative video at http://youtu.be/KjTyvnCsCQo (copy and past the link into your browser) and visit the organization’s website at http://paideiamissions.com.

 Now, as to our important question, we are humbly seeking support to fund this short-term mission trip. As the Lord leads you, would you consider making a contribution to Paideia Missions on behalf of the Wilson family? Our family’s trip budget has not been finalized yet, but our initial estimate is $6,000. Additionally, we ask for your prayers for wisdom, serving hearts, and good health while on the trip. Thank you for prayerfully considering our need.

As always, we hold you near in our thoughts and prayers. May the Lord’s blessing be upon you.

In His service,

 Phil Wilson (for Gaylene, and our 5 children: Natasha, Mikayla, Alexandra, Jonathan, and Katherine)

 Please note:

• All gifts to Paideia Missions on behalf of the Wilson family are tax deductible.
• If you are able to support this mission work, donations can be made online at http://paideiamissions.com.
• If you prefer to write a check, please make your check payable to Paideia Missions and attach a note earmarking your donation for “Wilson Mission Trip.”
• If you have any questions, please contact Phil at 720-252-3761 or philipcwilson@reagan.com.
• If you prefer, you may also donate airline miles.

Taken at our church, Oct 2014

Last night we had the pleasure of having a young courting couple over for dinner.  What a wonderful evening!

Natasha and Mikayla’s piano teacher, Miss Rebecca, is engaged to a wonderful young man named Jonathan (great name huh?!)  Jonathan lives in San Diego so this has been a long distance courtship.  Jonathan’s family has known Rebecca’s family for 10+ years going back to when Rebecca and her family lived in California.

It has been such a blessing watching this relationship form and grow.  I am so grateful that our children, specifically our oldest girls, have been able to watch all of it transpire.  Our girls are able to see what God desires for relationship and marriage versus what the world dictates.  Over the last 6 months, Rebecca and Jonathan have developed a relationship built on God’s word and not their own desires.  They started this relationship with the end in mind.  Meaning, their goal from the beginning was to decide if they could create a Godly lifelong marriage.  They pray that their marriage will bring glory and honor to God, not just fulfill their own desires.  How refreshing!

We had a wonderful evening getting to know Jonathan.  He is the oldest of 6 children and his father died when he was 19.  In essence he became the dad for quite a while helping his mom raise the rest of the kids and he wanted to be sure they all had a foundation in Christ.   He is a man that seeks to honor the Lord and be the spiritual leader in his family.

We ate lots of pizza and salad.  And, since I’m doing the wedding cake, I made a vanilla cake and a chocolate cake so they could taste test and decide which they wanted for their special day.  Also, four of our kids are set to be in the wedding… amazing!  We’ll see if our Jonathan will actually walk down the isle as the ring bearer!

We are looking forward to May 16th and the celebration of a new marriage!

Wow, has it really been a month since I posted???  Where has the time gone and why can’t I find the time to post twice a week?

Here I am to share a silly story.  Yesterday I had chicken taco soup simmering in the crockpot all day.  After we got home from our weekly Spanish class, I fished out the chicken breasts so that I could shred them and put them back in to simmer for a bit more before dinner.  As I was putting the chicken back in I grabbed a couple of small pieces to taste.  This is where the evening plans started to change….

I was chewing the yummy chicken and I must have inhaled because the next thing I knew I had a small piece of chicken stuck in my throat.  After 10 minutes of coughing so hard I thought my head might detach from my body I was finally able to catch my breath and stand up straight.  Unfortunately, with all that coughing the chicken never came out.  After trying for 2 hours with drinking water and tea and coughing it just wouldn’t come out.  I wasn’t in pain but I was uncomfortable and I could feel this lump in my throat.

I do an internet search on partial aspiration of food and oh the things I learned… yuck.

I just wasn’t sure what to do so after discussing it with Phil and my mom it was decided we’d head to the ER.  Talk about feeling silly!!!  Oh my gosh!  There were truly sick (and 1 drunk) people in the ER and here I am with a piece of chicken stuck in my throat.

I get put in a room and after all the usual checking of oxygen levels, blood pressure, temperature they handed me a can of Coke and said they’d be back to give me a shot of glucagon.  Hmmm…  I said to Phil that after paying the $100 co-pay that is an awfully expensive can of soda.

I drank the can of sugar (yuck!  it’s been 2.5 years since I’ve had soda), they gave me a shot in the arm and we waited.  The coke is supposed to break down the chicken and the glucagon is supposed to open the airways.  If that didn’t work then they would take me in for a CT scan.

We had Natasha with us and as we waited Natasha said “Mom, if you make it out of here we should celebrate tonight!”  I’m thinking, wow, it’s only a piece of chicken!  This isn’t anything like my hospital visit of 2012!  Wonder where she gets her dramatic flare from?

After about 35 minutes it worked!  The chicken disintegrated and I no longer had a lump in my throat.  I was discharged about an hour or so after arriving.

Next time, I’ll just head to the store and buy a cheap can of coke!

Our 3 oldest girls take piano and we recently were blessed by enjoying their piano recital.  I have girly girls and they love dressing up and getting their hair curled.  Here are a few pictures.

Natasha

Mikayla

Alex

Jonathan

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas!  I realize some still celebrate Christmas through January 5th but I haven’t quite figured out what that is all about.  I typically take my Christmas decorations down the day after Christmas but as I sit here typing this post on December 28th my decorations are still up.  Although I love decorating for Christmas after about 3 or 4 weeks I’m kind of over it and just want it all put away!  Maybe tomorrow….

Anyhow, I started a new family tradition this Christmas season.  The goal was to acquire 24 (or 23 if you want to ready the birth story straight from the Bible) Christmas or other special story books, wrap them and label them with a number; day 1, day 2, etc.  However, in keeping with our tight budget I was unable to acquire 24 books but I did manage to get 7 books that the kids had never read before.  I wrapped each book in pretty Christmas wrapping and labeled each book.  Then I put them in a basket under the tree.  Each evening, starting on December 18th the kids took turns unwrapping the appropriate labeled books and we read them together.  The kids really enjoyed this daily activity so I’m hoping next year I will be able to add a few more and start the tradition a little sooner in December.   I saved the story of the birth of Jesus to read on Christmas Eve.  I will be putting these books away with our Christmas decorations tomorrow so that they will be ready to go for next Christmas.  Want to know what books we read?  Here is our list:

Day 1 – A Charlie Brown Christmas!  I got this book from Amazon and it’s a VERY small book but it is such a fun story.  I imagine most of us grew up watching A Charlie Brown Christmas!

Day 2 – The Littlest Angel by Charles Tazewell.  This was about a little angel who didn’t quite fit in with the other angels in heaven.  In the end, he fits in better then he realizes.

Day 3 – The Oak Inside the Acorn by Max Lucado.  We all really loved this book.  It’s not really about the birth of our Savior but it is a book about being the ‘tree’ that God made us to be.

Day 4 – Christmas in the Big Woods by Laura Ingalls Wilder.  My kids love reading Little House on the Prairie books so this one fit right in.

Day 5 – Punchinello and the Most Marvelous Gift by Max Lucado.  Another great story by Max Lucado.  This book is about celebrating Maker Day and giving our best to God.  Wonderful story!

Day 6 – The Fourth King by Ted Sieger.  This was an excellent book as well.  As we know, there were more then 3 wise men and this is a story of the 4th wise man who was desperately trying to meet up with the original 3 wise men to see baby Jesus.  Various events came up along the way and this wise man kept putting off his trip to see Jesus to help those he met along the way.  The last family he helped had a baby and they were escaping the King’s order of killing the young children.  This forth wise man helped this family escape with their precious baby.  Can you guess who that baby was?  Such a wonderful book!

Day 7 – The Christmas Story for Children – by Max Lucado, Randy Frazee and Karen Davis Hill.  A very good telling of the glorious birth of Jesus.

I can’t wait to see what I am able to add to next year’s reading!

God Bless,
Gaylene